By Heloisa Marshall @heloisamarshall
Cover art by Zonagirante Studio
Editor's note: Heloísa Marshall, Brazilian singer and songwriter, She stands out for her unique voice and the ability to express emotions in just a few sentences. His album, Notas pro Apocalipse, recorded in a home studio, fuses genres such as pop, MPB, trap, electronica, and rock. This work is not only musical, but rather acts as a soundtrack to climate collapse, Incorporating scientific data on environmental damage, alongside moments of humor and irony, we invited Eloísa to write about Being a Woman in Music, and she sent us a very interesting piece. We've decided to publish it in its original Portuguese version and in Spanish., for the enjoyment of Latin American communities separated only by language.
Spanish version:
Being a woman is about dealing with how people deal with me. In the music world, That means I have to deal with how people perceive a woman of my age and appearance singing alone on stage, and off stage as well. This can be good and wonderful, but we all know there are other aspects. Existing in a predominantly male sphere, as is the case with music, requires me to understand the various layers of perception that may exist about me. It is also my responsibility to deal with them.
I usually give in. It's exhausting to think about how people perceive me, how they understand me or not. I prefer to understand myself as a person rather than as a woman, necessarily. Since childhood I have had a personal connection to non-binary identity, which I now acknowledge. If I am a woman and that influences my life, it arises in how I am treated; that's why I see the gaze of others as a topic of interest., not because I particularly care about other people's opinions.
I notice that I do more than many men I know. I sing, compose, produce, mix, and master most of my songs. I also do the cover art for some of them. I plan the launch. I do various jobs, in addition to those I mentioned. Even so, I often notice that I've gained the same notoriety as men who only did one of the things I did, or in other cases, men who did less than me but wanted the same recognition.
The perception of my work is also relative. I feel that to be validated, in many instances, I had to do much more than other men, even for myself. Self-validation of my own work and process was much more difficult than what I deliver to men.
Sexist attitudes are within all of us., Therefore, I too am a victim – or guilty – of validating men more than women. It's about exalting men's work more than women's. About recognizing the strength and power of work more in men than in women. I would be hypocritical if I didn't admit it. Internalized sexism is something I fight against, trying to remedy its manifestations., doing an active job of observing more carefully, attentively, and discerningly when it comes to a woman or a gender dissident.
The question of gender – and whether I am really a woman – remains an open question. Many times I enter that deep spiral and find myself with an ambiguous answer. Yes, there is an answer for me, but the most important thing is to question that question. Why do I need to choose a gender? Why should I define myself by this equation? I always say that for me, the question "what is your gender?" is like asking someone who has just arrived in the city "what is your football team?" (let's imagine that this person doesn't even know what football is, so they never thought there were two teams to choose from and that they had to choose one like theirs).
Returning to the question «"What is it like to be a woman in music?", I believe I have presented factors that affect my existence in this area. Hope is the last thing to die, and often I find people who manage to see beyond gender and perceive talent., The work, the effort, and the artistry behind the music I make. The world we want is being built brick by brick, with many hands. Every step and every attitude toward it creates a new world when it is carried out., guiding possible alternatives on how we can live and cohabit in this sphere.
Portuguese version:
Being a woman is dealing with how people deal with me. No world of music means that it is necessary to deal with how people live with a woman who has a minimum of life and appears singing sozinha num palco – and fora dele também. This can be wonderful and wonderful, but we all know that there are other sides to this. Existing in a sphere predominantly dominated by men, as in the case of music, requires from me an understanding of the various layers of understanding that can exist about me. It is up to me, too, to deal with them.
I usually give up. It is exhausting to think about how I perceive myself, how I understand myself or not. I prefer to understand myself as a person rather than as a woman, necessarily. Já possuo uma approachem pessoal de no binaridade desde criança, hoje percebo. If I am a woman and this interferes with my life, it arises as how I deal with myself, because I drink or listen to others as a matter of interest, and not because I care particularly about the opinions of others.
I notice that I have done more than many homages that I have achieved. I sing, compose, produce, mix and master most of my music. In some cases it is also a layer. Planning or launching. I do various jobs, apart from the ones I mentioned. Ainda assim, many times I notice that he gained the same notoriety of men who only did some of the things that he did. Ou, in other cases, homens que faziam less than eu más gostaram do the same reconhecimento.
The perception of my work is also relative. I feel that to be validated, in many instances, You have to do much more than other homens. I tied for myself. The self-validation of my own work and process has been much more difficult than what I can deliver for other children.
Or machismo is inside all of us, Therefore I am also a victim – or guilty – of validating more of the homages of women. To exalt more male work than female work. To forcibly reconstitute the work power more neles than nelas. You would be being hypocritical if you didn't admit it. Internalized machismo is something like mourning, trying to remedy its manifestations, doing active work with more care, attention and discernment when it comes to a woman, or a gender dissident person.
A questão de gênero – and if she really is a woman – remains an inquiry. Several times I entered that deep spiral and found myself within an ambiguous answer. There is, however, an answer, for me, more or more important is to ask that question. Why do I need to choose a genre? Why does it need to be defined by this equation? I always say that, for me, when you ask “what is your genre?” Is it necessary to ask someone who just arrived in the city “what time is your soccer game?” (We imagine here that this person who has just arrived in the city does not know what soccer is, therefore we never imagined that she would have to go to school twice and that she would have to go to school to be or her).
Turning to the question “how is it to be a woman without music?” Acho que apresentei factors que afetam a minha existência nesse meio. I hope until the last I die and, many times, I manage to find people who manage to see beyond the genre and enxergar the talent, or work, or effort in the art that they do through the music they make. The construction of the world we want exists and is done one step at a time and several more. Each step and each attitude in the direction of this creates a new world when it is done, identifying possible alternatives for how we can live together and coexist in this sphere.
